Peer-reviewed article
Discrepancies in parents’ perceptions of adult children’s well-being: evidence from mother–father–child triads
Matthijs Kalmijn ·
Summary
Written by AI, not yet AICS's view · claude-haiku-4-5-20251001This study examines how mothers and fathers perceive their adult children's well-being differently. Using survey data from over 1,400 Dutch families with adult children, the researchers found that parents who have closer relationships with their adult children rate them more positively than the other parent does. Mothers with higher personal well-being also tend to rate their children more positively. Disagreements between parents are more common in separated families than in intact families.
Key points
- Parents' perceptions of adult children's well-being diverge systematically based on their relationship quality with the child
- Closer and more harmonious parent-child relationships are associated with more positive evaluations of the child's well-being
- Mothers' own well-being influences their perceptions of their adult children's well-being
- Separated parents show larger disagreements about their adult children's well-being than married parents
- Discrepancies in parental perceptions are not random but reflect relational and individual factors
Limitations
This study focuses on adult children rather than children in developmental stages, making findings less applicable to child well-being policy. The research is based on perceptions and self-reports rather than objective measures of well-being, and is limited to a Dutch population.
Abstract
Most studies of discrepancies in parents' reports about children's psychological problems address younger children and psychological problems. The current contribution shifts the focus to adult children and to well-being. In adult intergenerational relationships, knowledge of children's well-being is more uncertain and there is more room for disagreements to arise, especially in the context of divorce. We analyzed Dutch multi-actor survey data, using a sample of triads of adult children, fathers, and mothers (N = 1,440). Two hypotheses were tested about the origins of discrepancies using structural equation models in which child well-being reports were included of parents and self-reports of children. The analyses supported the notion of relational specificity: when parents have a closer and more harmonious relationship with the child, they evaluate the child more positively than the other parent, after controlling for adult children's self-reports of well-being. Qualified support was obtained for the depression-distortion hypothesis, with mothers who have higher well-being themselves being more positive about the child. Discrepancies were larger among separated parents than among married parents and parent-stepparent combinations. The conclusion is that parents do not always have similar views of adult children's well-being and that disagreements are systematic, with bias stemming from the informant and the relationship.